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Its supposed to be spring...if you look at online weather that's coming... we may be getting s xtcnow again!!!Unfortunately our weatherman must feel terrible giving us this lousy forcast... hahahaa Chronic pain comes with many up's and downs.
The up's are having good days which consist of being able to be on my feet for more than a few hours with out taking breakthrough meds and not having to lay down with the heating pad....though the day can change from good to bad and vice versa. so you learn to adapt and change your plans to your pain level. Standing too long, sitting too long, laying down too long, leaning too long ... it can make the day hard. I think one of the hardest emotional struggle out of everything I have gone through was and is still the survivor’s guilt, depression, and shame.
Regaining me was going to be hard but I didn't know how hard it was going to be. One thing people don't think about is how they are judging without even realizing it.
People who have been through trauma have to deal with judgement whether it is said to their face or behind their backs. It is so hard to accept, most of all because what they base their judgement on is usually wrong. As I learn to create and edit my blog, I will eventually have these in chronological order. Many people have questions about people in a coma, I can honestly tell you...I remember.
I visited many places and saw many things, I am certain that the prayers, love and constant attention I received from loved one helped me breath on my own! We pulled up to the emergency entrance and I stumbled up to the desk where they were asking my questions and I was almost incoherent. My body was starting to shut down and I was barely able to stand. They treated me as if I was just another sick patient, they told me to sit down and someone would call me when they were ready.
"You can go home now", the young, arrogant doctor announced with a smile on his face. I had just woken up from my laparoscopy procedure, my mind was still filled with the meds so my comprehension was not on top of its game. Dr X ( we will call him) let me know that he found an adhesion and was able to separate it and I was good to go. Though i was in pain, I thought at that moment that it was from the procedure and it would eventually go away. |
Jennifer GroverI was born March 1974. Archives
February 2021
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